quaint little rutted bucket

Friday, August 19, 2005

I am Ralph.

"Vocation is the place where your deep joy meets the world's deep hunger." (Frederick Buechner)

So, I was young and foolish then... and still sometimes foolish now. Heheh.

Gee. How fast things change. Just a couple of years ago, I was that aimless, stressed out, rebellious nerdy type who wanted to find his niche. I wasted a year in CCS, while thinking about life, my priorities and the person I wanted to be. I was frustrated, confused and on the verge of losing it. That was until I decided to forego CCS, seek professional help (really, I did.), do away with all the expectations, and forge my own trail.

I haven't looked seriously back since then. (I did look back, but I figure I'll be better off as an educator and a future lawyer or even a college professor! This is *my* niche. :)

My decision to shift will perhaps be the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't regret a thing about it. (OK, I still do, especially after knowing what the IS majors are taking up. :) I know that teaching will be a stressful endeavor, but I also look forward to the day I'll get to experience the emotional highs of seeing young people realize their potential. That is something really nice to look forward to.

But, truth be told, I'm still having doubts. For one, I'm not sure if I'll make a good teacher. Even all the training in the world cannot possibly prepare me for the realities of teaching. The best I can hope for is that when that time comes that my skills and capabilities as an educator will be tested, what I have within myself will let me decide what is best in a sound and fair manner.

Another would be my graduate degree. As early as now, I am already looking into either law or an MA in teaching. But again, I have my doubts. You see, I am only considering becoming a lawyer because of the supposed prestige of having an 'Attorney' before my name, just to satisfy this crazy society's sick addiction to egotistical pursuits. (Ugh, in short, para lang matahimik yung mga nagsasabing 'teacher lang?' at para matigil na rin ang pagdududa ng aking mahal na ama ukol sa kursong kinukuha ko ngayon.) That's about it. (Well, not really in its entirety. For one, I like how Raul S. Roco quipped about the honor that can be gained in the practice of law.) I really don't know. Both career paths opens up tons of opportunities for me to genuinely serve others, but then, I am not sure where I'll fit in better. Sigh.

Maybe I should not really be thinking about this stuff this early on.


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