quaint little rutted bucket

Friday, March 31, 2006

leaving things at that

There was something vaguely familiar about the waft of wind hitting my face today... the scent, if you can call it that. It was something I've always looked forward to, yet this was the only time I remembered liking it. Maybe it has to do with those fancy yellow flower-ish droppings from that tree along SJ; we had lots of those back in DB and the air was quite a delight whenever a breeze went by. Those yellow thingies signified something. In my earlier years, they would tell me that school is about to be over. When I got a bit older, I alway imagined being in a mtv about Boyz II Men's "4 Seasons of Loneliness". When I got both older and wiser, I appreciated that thing as a plain beautiful sight to behold.


Its finally over. After the longest time, it is _finally_ over. I've looked forward to this day ever since, oh I don't know, since the start of this term? But I'm glad and contented with how things have turned out. My grades are likely to suffer this term, but f*ck, who cares? I certainly don't anymore. Let's fix this thing next term. For now, I am so ready to fail once again, if only to make me aware and concerned about things once again. Screw graduating third term next year, I could take a leave of absence and still graduate.

I've decided that I'll be asking Bro. Ceci to tell me his story... how he got into the Brothers' Habit. I dunno; I've always been fascinated with what they do. Maybe I'll find meaning, happiness and contentment there. Pray for me, will ya?

I'm a maverick who've always longed to care for the world. That's exactly the reason why I wanted to teach, to touch lives by caring for them. I can only pray that the decisions I will be making in response to my desire for vocation will be something I will never regret later on. But heck, I've made bad calls before and endured the consequence, so what would another little one be like if this turns out bad? Hah. If anything, I've already been turned into this numb, ignoring creature of indifference, so it wouldn't be that bad. I'm not scared.

I just have to keep my feet firmly on the ground this time...


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