quaint little rutted bucket

Thursday, December 04, 2003

a shout-out to nowhere

Ok, so that Spanish song is somewhat uncomprehensible. But cut me some slack here, wil ya? Have you even heard it yet? No? I thought so.

Anyway, don't mind the incessant rumbling. It's just my evil side talking to my principled one. :D

Heh. I've been acting quite a lot lately, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I've never been so moody, confused and frustrated over things.

Sigh. The incessantries of life, as I used to say. Questions linger in the back of your head and you don't have anyone to tell it to. I hate this. Questions like looking for your meaning, the reason for existence; boy, rhetorical and philosophical questions.

Now, I don't know what prompted me to start asking this to myself, but it seems that I'm at a crucial crossroad in my life right now. It's like you were just an ordinary, carefree high school student, and now, here you are, thrust into college, with a flurry of responsiblities and stresses that keep on mounting. I'm getting tired already, and frankly, I could've used some time to prepare myself for the rigors of getting a degree. I'm so sick of it already. I'm sick of pleasing people around me. I'm sick of satisfying every expectation that people around me have. It makes me feel worthless and insipid.

I mean, what in the world am *I* doing in college? Getting a degree? Preparing for my future? Sheesh. I hate the competition, the seemingly dog-eat-dog mentality that pervades top-flight educational institutions like De La Salle. Sure, I loved it, but then you wonder, why am I going so fast for my own good?


Don't mind my incoherent mumbling. I don't make sense nowadays. :(


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