quaint little rutted bucket

Saturday, October 08, 2005

I can't sleep.

Here I am, doing some work and poring over some of the older files I've been keeping. I really can't get myself to sleep. Sleeping patterns are inexistent with myself nowadays. I dunno what to think of things anymore. On one hand, I think I have a pretty good future with the degree I am working on right now. But you also have anxieties and doubts. They persist, yes, but nothing out of the ordinary. I think I'll do good... that is, if my health would cooperate. Lately, my body is out of whack, taking a real beating right now from stress and fatigue. I have a sore back, and I've been nursing a colds and cough for almost a week now. I can't even hum a decent song. :(

She's so adorable. I mean, the first thing that ever comes into my mind whenever I see her and thoughts of her spring to life is her laughter, giggles and smiles. She does it so genuinely; so affably that it brings forth feelings of warmth and joy, much like how a beautiful early morning makes everything seem oh-so-well. :) She also has a really admirable trait of being concerned about others, especially for the ones she cares a lot about. Sigh. It really feels nice to think about the things you admire and like about a person. I honestly wish for this to go on forever.

But the reality is, it won't. She'll be leaving in what, six months? And I haven't even gotten around to knowing her. I could easily speak, laugh and joke with her friends, but the thing is, I find it so hard to smile at her or look into her eyes; things that I have been doing with relative ease with others. I can't even speak to her. Darnit Ralph, if you expect anything to happen, you must make it happen.

I must get me some shuteye. :)


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