quaint little rutted bucket

Friday, March 05, 2004

Sorry for the relative lack of updates recently. (Gee, its been more than a week already. Hmm… :) Midterm week just passed, and I really had other priorities than updating people over things going on in my insignificant speck of biological existence we sometimes refer to as life. ;) Also, I don’t really post much about my life (like other bloggers do), as it’s something that I still consider privy. Most of the time, posting on my blog are my daily musings on anything under the sun, so if what you’re after is the nitty-gritty of my life, then you might never find it here. I post some details, but most of them are too vague to make much sense. :D

But for today, I make an exception. Here’s the blurb.

//counseling is king

after some hesitation in going to CCD (Center for Counseling and Development, if you so may know), _that_ letter from the Vice-Dean sure gave me a reason to go. After all, my intentions were, to clear up those thoughts I have been having over this whole college-is-comsci thing.

Kenneth and I went together last Wednesday during University break to the 3rd floor of the SPS Building to get somebody to hear us out. I must admit, it tons easier to go inside than when I was alone. Nevertheless, we did go in, and somebody (who we figured to be a counselor) asked us what in the world were we doing there. No, seriously, she asked us who we’re looking for. In my preppy, best tender voice, I replied, “ugh… counselor po.” (followed by a genteel smile and sheepish grin. Smarta** Ralph. Hahah. :))

After filling out some forms, Kenneth proceeded to go first and go home, and I was left in CCD, as a certain guy (who’ll turn out to be the counselor I will be consulting later on) approached me and told me to go his office whenever I felt ready. At that point, there was part-excitement, part-fear, with some butterflies fluttering inside my tummy. ;) Sigh. I should’ve done this weeks ago.

Nevertheless, I introduced myself to Mr. Jose Alejo, one my college’s counselors. He was pretty nice, and our conversation went for like an hour or so. Actually, it was what he says an ‘intake’ interview, where a counselor assesses the individual who seeks help and or guidance his/her needs.

Finally talking to somebody lifted a lot of weight on my shoulders. I did feel a heck of a lot better after having that session with Mr. Alejo, and I’m certainly looking forward to seeing him again next week. While he did give me an assignment, (heeheeh. I’d love to call it my action plan. :) it wasn’t all too bad, as I know it’ll help me.

You know, all these made me realize one thing: that I’m turning away from that carefree, almost-indifferent attitude I had towards things back in high school, and back onto the well-beaten path of doing things. I guess it doesn’t hurt to go back to doing what everyone else does, but maybe… just maybe, I could live the high life again, once I get over this study thingy.

On second thought, maybe not. :))

//risk: our word for the day

The intake interview was pretty interesting in itself. While I was contemplating the things we were discussing, like my obvious doubts over a career in IT, I also did mention a number of things about myself. Including my relative coyness compared to other people of my age.

Sir Joey stated it was all about taking the risk, especially, with ugh, females. Risk. Pretty scary word indeed. I can feel the butterflies start fluttering again in my tummy whenever I recall it. :)

What in the world did I tell him anyway? Well, to start off, that I grew up in an environment with only the same gender as my peers, and that I was teetering on being anti-social sometime back in my high school days. I’ve already been adjusting since third year, and college seems to accelerate the entire changing-me thingy. That I find it easier to talk with people of the same gender than of the opposite ones. Pretty expected from somebody who has not even much of a clue about how the world of females work.

I also did tell him that, ugh, sometimes, I get intimidated by the people I meet. I also admitted that despite the pretensions of self-confidence on my part, it was just hard to maintain a degree or a level of self-esteem and belief in one’s self at times, thus, the intimidation, especially in social functions. While my relative ‘reservedness’ is an advantage, it can be a disadvantage too, seeing how awkward I could get in social events. Nevertheless, he says we’ll be both looking into it.

But for starters, he says that I could start with my blockmates and classmates, say by greeting them. That is risk in itself, albeit little. Well, Mr. Alejo, I’ve been doing that already. Self-effort works, methinks. ;)

In all, a score another step in the right direction for me. :)

//a caveat over counselors

A warning: Counselors seem to have the ability to read the subconscious aspects of a person just by looking at his/her handwriting, behavior and lots of other spooky little things. I was pretty surprised when he started dropping clues on my personality, which coincided with what I did know about myself. Gee, if these people know people just by observing things about them, count me out! Seriously though, I guess it has to do with their profession as counselors/psychologists.

While counseling might be perceived as for those who aren’t normal or experiencing problems, the reality is (by looking at the CCD’s logs) there are lots of people who go there for consultation. Does that mean that a lot are abnormal/depressed/problematic? I don’t think so, because reason doesn’t necessarily say so. As the counselors say themselves, a good number of undergrads go for consultation over some issue, no matter how trivial or significant these are, and the counselors are more than happy to help them resolve those.

And so this ends my mumblings over my counseling. Go out and smell the roses, as life can be too short for that. :)


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