quaint little rutted bucket



Thursday, October 27, 2005

On the intarweb: Slacker or sick?
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=32560

This is interesting: repetitive stress injuries (you know, the injuries we get from boring routinary things, like when working on a computer) apprently triggers what the researchers called "sick worker syndrome", characterized by fatigue and depression.

According to the article, while the research initially went on to have fairly predictable results, there was also one unexpected observation based from the experiments conducted on the rats: that increasing levels of stress brought about by low-level repetitive tasks also affected the rats psychosocial performance--they started taking things easier by slacking off.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

[LYRICS]
Suddenly
U Turn

She walks in, I'm suddenly a hero
I'm taken in, my hopes begin to rise
Look at me, can't you tell I'd be so
Thrilled to see the message in your eyes
You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
And then suddenly it's all right

Chorus:
Suddenly
The wheels are in motion
And I... I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
Cause I... I'm ready to take all my chances with you

And how can I feel you're all that matters
I'd rely on anything you say
I'll take care that no illusions shatter
If you dare to say what you should say
You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
And then suddenly it's all there

Suddenly
The wheels are in motion
And I... I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
Cause I... I'm ready to take all my chances with you

Why do I feel so alive when you're near
There's no way any hurt can get
Longing to spend
Every moment of the day with you
With you

Suddenly
The wheels are in motion
And I... I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
Cause I... I'm ready to take all my chances with you

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Wisdom without reason. And then some.

[No. 'Bathroom Monologues' is not launching today, as I had promised. Sorry. :) I felt I needed to put into writing a few things that have occured during the last couple of days.]

A lot of things have changed since I last posted--all in a span of one week, much of what I thought to be the status quo had pretty much changed; for the better or worse, that I do not know. There's a lot of uncertainty looming over the horizon, and this was something that I was, in all honestly, not prepared for.

I really do not care anymore about what others might think of the entire thing. A lot of things are going on through my mind right now, and as things currently stand right now, I am feeling a whole rush of emotions: confusion, elation, even frustration.

One part of myself is relieved to have gotten that out of my system, although silly old me has forgotten, either subconsciously or deliberately to leave out thinking about the consequences. Perhaps it may be that subconsciously, I wanted them to know. A single statement sums the entire thing quite nicely: "Ralph, ano na naman ba itong pinasok mo?"

Really. Its hard not to think that way. On one hand, you feel nice and cool about the entire thing, but the logical/rational side of you starts throwing a lot of questions your way--questions that are fundamentally confusing, questions that should have been answered a long time ago, which, for reasons I am not exactly sure, I did not.

The uncertainty that surrounds this whole thing is killing me. This is the first time I've been entangled in this kind of situation, and all I know is that I should exercise care and prudence over whatever I decide to do. Beyond that, I don't know much else, aside from the reality that the burden of doing something concrete is now upon me.

At this point, doubts still exist. That was the leading reason I was reluctant to even let my guy friends know. They aren't really doubts over what I am feeling but over her. (Duh. When you've already written something that has a strong rhetoric of certainty, its pointless to argue over this one. :) There is a side of me that wants to pursue this entire thing and see to its end, without much thought over how it will turn out. The possibility of failure doesn't scare me at all anymore. It's like, "who cares about making yourself feel vulnerable? isn't this the whole point of things like these?" And this side is what people around me are rooting for. Sigh.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

[LYRICS]
Ewan Ko
Soapdish

Di mo sinabi
Pero may nagsabi
Gusto mo yata kasama ka palagi
Pero ewan ko, ewan ko

Ubos na ang pera sa kaka-lakwartsa
Gusto mo yata palagi kang kasama
Pero ewan ko, ewan ko

Napapansin mo na yata
Nakakahiya naman
Gusto lang naman kitang titigan

Napapalingon tuwing ika'y dumadaan
Napapangiti hindi ko alam ang dahilan
Alam kong hindi pupuwedeng maging tayo
Pero minsan nag-iiba ang ikot ng,
Ang ikot ng mundo

Susmaryosep! Ang dila ay sumabit
Napahiya na
'Di na makalapit
Pero ewan ko, ewan ko

Pero napapansin mo na yata
Nakakahiya naman
Gusto lang naman kitang titigan

Napapalingon tuwing ika'y dumadaan
Napapangiti hindi ko alam ang dahilan
Alam kong hindi pupuwedeng maging tayo
Pero minsan nag-iiba ang ikot ng,
Ang ikot ng mundo

Napapalingon tuwing ika'y dumadaan
Napapangiti hindi ko alam ang dahilan
Napapalingon tuwing ika'y dumadaan
Napapangiti hindi ko alam ang dahilan
Alam kong hindi pupuwedeng maging tayo
Pero minsan nag-iiba ang ikot ng,
Ang ikot ng mundo

Saturday, October 08, 2005

I can't sleep.

Here I am, doing some work and poring over some of the older files I've been keeping. I really can't get myself to sleep. Sleeping patterns are inexistent with myself nowadays. I dunno what to think of things anymore. On one hand, I think I have a pretty good future with the degree I am working on right now. But you also have anxieties and doubts. They persist, yes, but nothing out of the ordinary. I think I'll do good... that is, if my health would cooperate. Lately, my body is out of whack, taking a real beating right now from stress and fatigue. I have a sore back, and I've been nursing a colds and cough for almost a week now. I can't even hum a decent song. :(



She's so adorable. I mean, the first thing that ever comes into my mind whenever I see her and thoughts of her spring to life is her laughter, giggles and smiles. She does it so genuinely; so affably that it brings forth feelings of warmth and joy, much like how a beautiful early morning makes everything seem oh-so-well. :) She also has a really admirable trait of being concerned about others, especially for the ones she cares a lot about. Sigh. It really feels nice to think about the things you admire and like about a person. I honestly wish for this to go on forever.

But the reality is, it won't. She'll be leaving in what, six months? And I haven't even gotten around to knowing her. I could easily speak, laugh and joke with her friends, but the thing is, I find it so hard to smile at her or look into her eyes; things that I have been doing with relative ease with others. I can't even speak to her. Darnit Ralph, if you expect anything to happen, you must make it happen.

I must get me some shuteye. :)

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Confessions of a deranged mind

It freaking did it again.

The horoscopes. Man, I should get some sleep.

I know that there's a certain scientific term they call these types of statements--the ones that seemingly specifically applies to you, whereas in fact, the language is worded so cleverly that it could just about apply to anybody else without you consciously noticing it. I just can't seem to remember what it was...

Oh well.

[LYRICS]
Whenever, Wherever, Whatever
M.Y.M.P.
Versions

Lead me on boy (girl) if you must
Take my heart and my love
Take of me all that you want (must)
And if there's a thing that you need
I'd give you the breath that I breathe
If ever you yearn for the love in me
Whenever, wherever, whatever
Whenever, wherever, whatever

Wish I knew if I could
Be the one that you would want
Love forever and a day baby
And if there's a thing that you need
For you and your blood I would bleed
If ever you yearn for the love in me
Whenever, wherever, whatever
Whenever, wherever, whatever

And if there's a thing that you need
I'd give you the breath that I breathe
If ever you yearn for the love in me
Whenever, wherever, whatever
Whenever, wherever, whatever

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Blog of note: http://thelanguageguy.blogspot.com/

I like his approach to language... more on the sociolinguistic side of things. :D I think I'm falling for sociolinguistics! Heheh.

I've just borrowed a book on language policy this morning, and from how it reads so far, I find it engaging. Will post more as I read past the first couple of pages. :)