quaint little rutted bucket

Friday, September 30, 2005

Signs of the times

Waaaah! Panic mode. It only started as a blissfully funny series of coincidences some weeks back, but for the past couple of days during the last two weeks, it got a lot of things correctly: Friendster's horoscopes.

I dunno what to think of this thing anymore. I am largely a skeptic when it comes to these things, but the coincidences are so... close to what really happened. :-&

Ah, never mind. :)

Oh. On a quite related note, Friendster just launched a freaking, geniously devilish new feature: Who's Viewed Me.

And to think I was poring over some of the profiles of those I've been ogling since first year. Bwahahah. Goodbye, my Friendster profile viewing career. You will be missed. Heheheh.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Beautiful Letdown

She told him she’d rather fix her makeup
Than try to fix what’s going on
But the problem keeps on calling
Even with the cellphone gone
She told him that she believes in living
Bigger than she’s living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
And upside down

Don’t say so long and throw your cellphone
Don’t spend today away
Cuz today will soon be
Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is gone
Just try and prove me wrong
And pretend like your immortal

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow
Brings us one step closer to the edge (infinity)
Where's your treasure, where’s your hope
If you get the world and lose your soul
She pretends like she pretends like she’s immortal
Don’t say so long
You're not that far gone
This could be your big chance to makeup
Today till soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is gone,
The world keeps spinning on,
Your going going gone,
Like summer break is gone,
Like Saturday is gone
Just try and prove me wrong
You pretend like your immortal your immortal

We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We’re so confident
In our accomplishments
Look at how dark it is

Gone, like Frank Sinatra
Like Elvis and his mom
Like Al Pacino’s cash
Nothing lasts in this life
My highschool dreams are gone
My childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn’t last for long

Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash,
Life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred dollar bills
And oh the town fills
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings
And up in wills we got information in the information age
But do we know what life is
Outside of our convenient Lexus cages

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow
Brings us closer to the God who’s not short of cash
Hey Bono, I’m glad you asked
Life is still worth living, life is still worth living...

Birthday ko ngayon! Heheh. :D

It's going to be a mad term.

Crap. I've just realized the pseudo-mess I just got myself in: six majors courses, three of which are English majors on the relationship of language and culture, another on the psychology of language learning, and another on teaching speaking. The rest are professional education courses on statistics in education, classroom management and foundations of education 1. Am I begging to be hanged? I'm not entirely sure, but from the looks of it, at the end of the term, I may already be (1) insane, (2) dead or (3) depressed and stressed like hell. Its going to be a merry Christmas. Hahahah.

But no, it doesn't stop there. I'm also working on a research paper with ms. mimi that we intend to submit for publishing in an educational journal. To date, she's already asked me if I wanted to be called her co-author or a research assistant. I really don't know. She also asked me to do further research in the periodicals section of the library, giving me a list of things to watch out for, do a review of the them, and write them down in a revision of the background of the study/review of related literature section of my paper last term.

And don't even mention my extracurricular involvements. I've just joined DLSU's UNICEF volunteers, and while it seems genuinely fun and rewarding (another educ major + UNICEF! heheh), it also adds to my growing list of committments. Not that I'm afraid of committing, but I just don't want to disappoint people when I fail to meet their expectations. I fully committed myself to this, and knowing myself, I want to give anything I commit myself to all the best I can spare. But given my situation... Sigh. I'll just do my best to stay on top of things and hope for the best.

Rant ends here. B-)


I don't intend to let this one go. I must do something. Haf'ta start somewhere... somewhere. Before she goes. I have half a year left to make this one count. Oh, Ralph, let's not royally screw this one up. Please. I am begging you. :)

Edit: Hahaha. Brownie points! More brownie points for me! =))

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


Hahah! This is so fun! Pseudo-broadband! Weeeeeeee.

I'm now connected to PLDT's DSL service under the 256Kbps/999 PhP plan they offered to students. The entire installation actually took exactly two weeks from the day we submitted the form. That's PLDT service for you. (hahah. nabulok na yung form na yun sa tagal na hindi isinubmit since I got it at school.)

I'll be running bandwidth tests later. But so far, latency's and connection seems to be good. Downloading from BT at 100Kbps! Heheh.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Sunday Morning
Oh, isn't the smell of fresh incense in the morning lovely? Heheh.

Just got back from two eucharistic celebrations at the local community parish, the 7 - 8 AM mass (early) and the one immediately preceding that. (waaaah! now, this is *real early* at 6AM!)

This lector commentator thing that I've been doing since the start of this year has its ups and downs. On one hand, you have the chance to give back to the local community and feel good all over. It is really rewarding to be making use of what I think I do best.

On the other hand, since I've pledged to myself that any commitment I'll be entering in will never be neglected, I'm also finding it hard to say 'no' at times, especially during those instances when I have to be somewhere else. We are a bit shorthanded, so there are really times when emergencies arise and I am called to serve, even if its largely unplanned and sometimes even in conflict with my own schedule. It gets mildy annoying at times, although the thought of the people that I will be able to serve largely takes most of those away.

My committment has its ups and downs. There were months when I was able to serve without fail, and there also times when I've been missing out on my sched. (Hahah. Case in point: Last July and August, when I was doing community service for RELS. I missed out on *all* my Saturday evening anticipated mass schedules! :D But in all, I can say that I have been doing a pretty good job.

Don't even mention the 'unexpected' perks of the job, like being exposed to more people. I have been introduced to more members of the local community through this way. More brownie points for me.

There you have it. End of post.

And me off to breakfast. Hahah.

Monday, September 12, 2005

I am lost.

Status quo and change.

A phrase that, to me, doesn't really mean anything.

If there's anything substantial I've learned in one of my courses in the past (ugh, actually, last term
lang) is that I'm more of an indirect person when it comes to uncertainty reduction. And the thing is, I'm actually taking it all further: that I'm actually trying; trying so hard to understand a person--a person I barely even know.

Oh my, I should've heeded my own self's advice a while back. "Never, ever even dare falling for a person you hardly know." It has happened a lot of times already. But alas, like an inane wolf, I kept on coming back, doing the very same things, committing the very same mistakes
I should not have in the first place. :'(

But the thing is, I not only find her intriguing, but I find her easy to fall for as well. Beneath that haughty demeanor, beneath the smiles; beneath the smile she puts on everyday--there is somebody I want to know, love and care for. Somebody I'll catch, listen to, and comfort without batting an eyelid. But alas; it may not happen, perhaps ever. She obviously cares for somebody else--and there's nothing I could do about that. Circumstance brought him to her; brought her to my attention. At the wrong time, when I'm trying to put a life together. :(

My first impressions of her were nothing short of breath taking. Interest in the very things I tend to dabble on, someone who is mature, fun-loving, passionate about the things she cares about... sigh. Really, it is not hard to find endearing things about her. This list could go on forever, if we'd only known each other at a different time and place.

Ah, time. Why is it that I, despite how I usually think of myself, can fall prey to this? Why? (Don't answer that.) Why did I fall for her that quickly, without ever being logical or even rational? Is it because the heart has, and will always be stronger than the mind?

I am afraid. I am afraid to let somebody as precious and unique as her go, without me ever trying. She'll be leaving the University's halls this year, while I get to stay on for a year more. I don't want to let this one be ended with words like at a later time and at a later place. No. If I am to do anything, I might as well do it. I've been through this before, and every time, there have always been regrets and the thought of what might have been. No. Not this time.

Is this closure? Not quite--yet. But it may be... :'(

First day funk. Sort of.

(Shoot. Its getting ever-harder to come up with post titles. This one's so cheesy I might have to hang myself after posting this. Oh well.)

Just had first day of classes today for this term. I wasn't able to go to mass. My bad. Anyway, most of my classes today were boring excellent.

The day started out with another interesting majors course, Psychology of Language Learning. Psycholinguistics. Goody. If anything, I expect this one to be along the lines of LINGUIS in terms of content and depth. I should expect this one to be pretty hefty in terms of requirements and stuff. And papers! Tons of paperwork. Yet all over again. Heheh. I will get a grade of 3.5 for this one. (To myself: That's good. You're setting goals. That was one thing we never did during the start of the academic year.)

Ah, TINTECH. I was actually expecting this one to be under the other Ms. Lilet in the CEPD, but no. The same prof as I had more than a year ago with FOUNED2. Oh well. I expect this one to turn out well. Get me a four on this one, stat! That's positive thinking for you. :)

And since I've metioned it... EDUSTAT. I was actually quite fearful of this one before our prof arrived, since I'm not exactly that bright with numbers. (I'm quite the opposite, to put things frankly :D But I was quite relieved to find out that we'll be doing things from the perspective of a psychologist. Hell freezes over: our prof isn't a math professor. This will surely be interesting, though I still don't know what target grade should I be aiming at. Maybe a three.

And now, I wait for my three classes tomorrow. Two majors classes, a single professional education course. Goody goody.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Term break's over.

First day of classes tomorrow! And I'm excited as hell. For what reason, I'm not exactly sure. Although can't prevent the feeling of anxiety from creeping over me. As it stands, the only class I'll be having outside CED is a course on classroom management with second year CCS IST majors, although I'm also enrolled in a frosh block class. Waaaah. Froshies. They're usually noisy. And nosy. Heheh. Let's just cross our fingers for now. :D

Tomorrow will also be the first day of my stint as a FORMDEV faci. Wala namang groupings bukas, so we'll see how this one turns out.

Oh. It just started raining. Cool.

You know, when it rains, the first thing I think about is Mico, my cross-bred terrier. The dog usually stays outside, except during really bad weather.

But no, I remembered. He just passed away last July. Still have a bag and three cans of dog food in the shelves. I miss having a dog.

Or any pet, for that matter. What I want now is a cat. :)

I've just finished reading Robert Ludlum's "The Bourne Identity" this afternoon. I swear, the only part things got pretty fast was during the last couple of chapters when everything was revealed to our protagonist. :) But it was a swell read. Character development was top notch and done in a very unique manner.

I love the European, largely French setting of the novel. There were a considerable number of snippets in French, but nothing a good French tourist dictionary couldn't handle. :) The conversations were also a nice touch, since it works in perfect harmony with the images used in depicting the setting of the novel, which in turn gives the reader an impression of being "closer" to the action.

The thing is, "Bourne Identity" is not a short novel by any counts. At nearly five hundred fifty pages, reading it was a stretch, considering that most of the novels I have read before are (a) not thrillers and (b) Coelho works, which are considerably shorter than this one. The language is also far and above my usual fare, which makes reading it a bit of a drag at times, especially when the action slows down.

Ludlum is definitely skilled in keeping his readers on edge. Even if there are instances when the novel itself becomes a tad boring, the way Ludlum developed the story's characters and plot makes the reader want to read on until the very end. That I think is a gift not possessed by many thriller writers.

I'm now looking to read the next book in this trilogy, "The Bourne Supremacy."

Friday, September 09, 2005

Nothing. Nothing, I say!

To be honest, whenever people ask me of my course, I don't really mention it being a secondary education degree program. I just tell them that I'm majoring in English (which is technically true...) and when that elicits an unconventional response (e.g.
"Baket English? Hindi ka pa ba marunong nun?", "Ano namang gagawin mo dun?", "Ano bang pwedeng gawin dun?" etc.) I can't help but feel a bit peeved and frustrated. I can only imagine if I told the same people that I am working on an education degree with English as my major.

Knowing myself, I know that I should feel proud and all of the decision I made. But no. The reality is, whenever I am out in the real world, I tend to downplay the program I am in. I can't easily tell it to my relatives as one would say "I am taking up accounting!/engineering!". To make matters worse, I often follow the "English po" reply with stories about my intention to become a liar lawyer.
Without me realizing it at all, I myself have become a victim of this crazy society's fixation on titles and stereotypes.

After thinking much about it recently, (hell, I haven't been doing much aside from that since this crappy term break began) I feel that I am doing that simply because I feel pressured from the people around me. Mum fully supports me in my decision to pursue an education degree, but the same cannot be said of Dad. To avoid taking heat whenever I talk about the possibility of teaching in the future I almost always mention law school, whereas in reality, I don't quite think I'll make a good lawyer.

Why this kind of talk, you ask? Well, I've found out even more. When I'm alone and in the company of my professors at school or even with the FORMDEV guys, I feel at peace, even proud with my decision. Last Wednesday, I had the chance to be invited to a screening panel that did the evaluation of the teaching demos of the prospective instructors applying for a teaching stint with the English department. There were four distinct applicants who, in a way, represented the different kinds of teachers we have today. That was one of those moments when I felt my decision was reaffirmed and reinforced, that in a way, what I really wanted to do and do well was to teach.

I wasn't able to watch "Cinderella Man" last Tuesday. So I'd have to wait until the 14th. Bummer. And there are no good movies showing this week. (Waaah! I also lost out on "Must Love Dogs", after having spent the day I was intending to watch it at Poy's antipolo home. I guess I'll have to wait for a proper DVD of that thing. :(

I've completed three hundred or so pages of Ludlum's "Bourne Identity". Gosh, thrillers are harder to experience when being read. Heheh. Things can get quite tedious and wordy at times. But Ludlum's word play is wonderful, and to imagine how in the world he came up with the plot of this thing is real impressive.

Read, read! Then read some more. That's basically how I spend my afternoons lately. Real slow, and can be real dragging at times.

Tomorrow, I plan to spend an entire afternoon at the Ayala Museum. Still haven't went there lately.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

That's it?

So, the "majority" won in their bid to prevent any impeachment complaint against GMA from getting through. As if that was not enough, they did it in an overwhelming and numerically-superior way, resulting to more than 2/3 of the vote supporting the report released by the Justice Committee of the House of Representatives that dismisses two other complaints that came after the first Lozano complaint was filed, with the latter the only complaint being recognized as legally valid but then, subsequently dismissed for having been found lacking in substance and form.

The anti-impeach congressmen and women may have bought GMA more time, but in the big scheme of things, all they did was to add more fuel to the flame.

Personally, even though I still see GMA as the only competent person we have for the Presidency, there is no discounting the fact that she still remains accountable for her actions and the allegations being hurled in her way. An impeachment trial would give people like me--those who are plainly after the truth--a legal and peaceful venue where all the evidences from both sides of the equation to be presented in the open.

But now that avenue is closed for a year. A lot of things can happen in a year, as Erap's demise also happened within a year after clamors for his resignation first started being heard. In fact, some talk in the recently-concluded Black and White forum expects GMA to be removed from position early next year or so. While that prediction is at best hearsay at this point, there is no discounting the fact that it may happen.

In other news...

Deal signed to end EU-China textile impasse [INQ7.net]

Globalization at work: This one issue was a controversial sticking issue with some of the EU member nations a few months back since their economies depended upon textile production and exports. Apparently, that has been resolved for the meantime, with China and EU both taking compromises. I personally applaud the Chinese for taking a more reasonable position this time, as it opens up avenues for more agreements like these in the future. While China's competitive advantage when it comes to mass production of commodities like textiles may extend for a couple more years in the future, recent economic trends in China point to ever-increasing levels of salaries even for the vast majority of China's factory workers, so their ability to produce goods at the lowest of costs may change in due time.

La Salle asks UAAP to rethink decision [INQ7.net]

So, protests are in vogue again, eh? Sigh. If the UAAP decides to give this one to UE, our bid for the Final Four may be in jeopardy.

Boring. After going places during the early part of my term break, I'm finding myself increasingly cooped here at home. I want to go places! :(

Anyway, planning to watch "Cinderella Man" tomorrow after going to school to spend big gobs of money. After that, maybe on Friday, am going to spend an afternoon at Ayala Museum. They've got new exhibits, so I got to check those out.

But still am, largely, bored. I think this is the first term break ever that all I'm doing, apart from going places, is watching TV, sleeping, and reading. I've just finished a Filipino novel, Arceo's relatively short "Canal de la Reina" yesterday, after starting it nearly two weeks ago. Pretty predictable novel. More social commentary than anything else. Blah. I need to get my mush fix! Hahah. :))

I'm also delving into some of the books that have been rotting in my Tita's shelves. I picked up "The Bourne Identity" just for curiosity's sake (Ed: Darnit. Can't seem to get the spelling of "curiosity" correctly.) and I find it nice. A tad nicer than the movie version, in fact. Maybe it's just me. I dunno.

And oh. Its only now I've been listening much to M.Y.M.P.'s two recent albums, "Beyond Acoustic" and "Versions". More than anything, I find most of the tracks to be nice mood music, with "Versions" being more my preference. Lovely songs.

Friday, September 02, 2005

This Is Your Life
The Beautiful Letdown

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be
This is your life are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose

That's it?

Saw George Walker Bush on TV last night addressing the need for more donations for the people devastated by Hurricane Katrina. Boy, that guy needs some help. He can't even connect with the people he's expecting to give much help. Maybe he's so caught up vacationing he forgot that a pretty hefty hurricane was pounding places near the Mississippi River. Imagine, being a day late. If he was dead serious about helping as he says he is, he should've went on air, without garish and makeup, even in the late hours of midnight or even early morning. People will then certainly appreciate the gesture, and would surely send a message to them that somebody cares and is leading them. Fashionably late, he is not.

I've always thought of New Orleans as a city I'd love to visit in the future, thanks to its rich and colorful history of music. The problem is, almost the entire city is already below sea level, and as its stands now, half the city is flooded. It will certainly be a garguantuan task to even start rebuilding, since there is simply so much water that is needed to be pumped out.

What about prevention, you say? Well, since this Administration's so smart enough to cut the state's budget for the levees protecting the city, this happened. Even with some pretty prominent figures directly concerned with the flood protection of the city publicly complaining about lack of funds, some people really did not budge. And now, we have this. Could the flooding have been prevented, or at least, reduced? Perhaps. The thing is, they're asking these questions only now.

NYTimes.com: Officials Struggle to Reverse a Growing Sense of Anarchy
NYTimes.com: Intricate Flood Protection Long a Focus of Dispute
NYTimes.com: Waiting for a Leader
NYTimes.com: Future Face of New Orleans Has an Uncertain Look for Now
NYTimes.com: Interactive Graphic - The Impact of Hurricane Katrina