quaint little rutted bucket

Monday, March 28, 2005

Jed Madela's "How Can I Fall Lyrics" can be found immediately after this post. To get there now, press Ctrl + F now on your keyboard, type 'March 22' and press Enter. That should bring you to the lyrics. Thanks! :)

Monday shmunday

/.'ers are having a field day discussing their most hated day of the week here. I dunno about them guys, but I'd have to agree: Mondays and Monday Redux (that is Tuesday) really stink. Heheh.

Just imagine the thought of getting off bed after a nice weekend... oooh. Sends shivers down any mortal's spine. :D

Todo list
  • Complete surveys for acadwri
    • Finish paper for this thing (due: 4 april 2005)
  • Complete my paper for devgrow (due: 1 april 2005)
  • Revise PSA for persuasive speech (due: tomorrow)
  • Finish two another papers on artapre (due: 4 & 5 april 2005)
  • Check & beg RSun for my video card
  • Get money from dad for R40
  • Meet Mr. Yu for the R40
  • Study and become an expert on measdev
  • Take home book on human development
    • Study for next monday's exam
Total number of papers due either this week or the next: five. Wonderful.

I love term ends. There's that feeling of anticipation for that much-awaited break... to finally get away from all those school-related stuff. But wait, what's this? Summer classes! Rargh! Hahahah.

I'm getting off Firefox now, simply because I need to accomplish something. Hahahah.


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The oh-this-is-so-me-right-now song

I've been hearing this beautifully-sung song on the airwaves for the past couple of weeks: In taxi rides, jeepneys, on my Muvo's FM radio... and not one occasion even bothered to mention its title, until I chanced upon it a couple of days ago on a local music video channel... revealing that elusive thing. Here it goes:

/hopeless romantic mode on

How Can I Fall
Jed Madela (Originally performed by Breathe)

Give me time to care, the moments here for us to share
Still my heart is not always there
What more can I say to you

Could I lie to you, I'm just too weak to face the truth
Now I know I should make a move
What more can I say

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just won't give me reasons
When you just won't give me reasons at all

When all faith is gone, I fight myself to carry on
Yet I know of the harm I do, what more can I say to you
Now I hold this line, I know the choice to leave is mine
I can't help what I feel inside
What more can I say

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just won't give me reasons
When you just won't give me reasons at all

I'll follow through, I'll see I do
When the time is far more right for you
I'll make that move, and when I do
Will I doubt again, the way I do

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just won't give me reasons
When you just won't give me reasons
How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just won't give me reasons
When you just won't give me reasons at all

You just won't give me reasons
You just won't give me reasons at all

How can I fall, can I fall, can I fall
How can I fall for you

Give me time to care, the moments here for us to share
Still my heart is not always there
What more can I say

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The coolest thing since your mum's cooking: Instant buildings.


This has got to be the the most intriguing development for this year so far. Just imagine: instant field clinics, instant kitchens, instant triage facilities, instant... well, you get the picture.

It's literally "just add water" and wait, (in this case, half a day) much like cup noodles. Its inventors also claim that the package can be deployed sterlile, meaning instant surgeries for everyone. Really cool stuff.


Darnit. The CURIDEV class I was planning to get into just got filled. Time to bring out Plan B: INTRECO in lieu of CURIDEV, GUICOED remains. The problem is, I still have to talk with Ma'am Ivy, as MLS is asking for ALGE101[???] as a hard prerequisite. Oh man. You have to love this thing.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

w00t. first post!!!!11

Just presented my persuasive speech this morning and shucks, even though I hate to admit it, it was the best presentation I made thus far. I did not like the topic I had, the outline I made was a wreck... and yet, strangely, I still managed to present it well. Indeed, strange times call for even stranger things.

For the record, I still hate giving those speeches. I can't really do it properly and smoothly. Yet. :-D

Enrollment day comes tomorrow, and I've decided to push through with this summer classes thing. It's not good, yes, but sacrifices have to be made. ::sob:: Goodbye, my long-awaited summer. I guess I'll have to live with burnout for a little longer.

My PowerColor Radeon 9800 Pro card clunked out again last Friday evening while I was playing around that fun thing called Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich. As with the first burnout incident, the same thing happened. This is the second time a R350-cored 9800 Pro card died on me. I'm now contemplating selling this and getting a 6600GT AGP card instead.

The weird thing, that thing wasn't even overclocked. I only replaced its scarily-cheepo HSF with an Arctic Cooling VGA Silencer, mounted with Arctic Silver 5. And I always set the fan on high just to make sure. On the night it died, the heatsink was so hot, it nearly burned my skin.

I would never buy ATI again.

It's interesting how guys seem to bunch together when one asks for help in dealing with... women. Yes, them.

A strange thing happens when Bob, our fictional guy, comes to his friends for help on how to woo the woman and let her know how he feels. A girl I knew commented on this, saying how men tend to talk much but don't do much. Hahah. Naturally, some guys felt obliged to disagree, saying that they weren't anything like what she says.

The learning experience there was doing something. No matter how corny, cheesy, fruity or beefy, you still went the extra mile of doing something just for her. Even though the thought of being rejected, dumped, thrown and or kicked out exists, the point is still you made an effort to come near her, fumblingly trying to get a conversation going, with all the anxiety and uncertainty, just to get to know her and see if there exists some chemistry between you two. Women have it easy here in our country--in the end, for them, its all just a matter of waiting for the right guy while we guys have to do all the work. Women are, indeed, the stronger sex/gender.

That experience made me thought about my own situation. I'm already heading to my third year in La Salle. Boy, it only seemed yesterday I was that innocent (blech) bloke entering the gleaming marble-tiled white halls of St. La Salle building. And no, still no girl. A lot have captured my fancy, yes, but I still have not mustered enough courage/balls/cojones to actually try to open up and get close to one. In the plain wise words of Sir Joey, "to take risks."

I leave this post with a cliche: "It is infinitely better to have loved and lost... than to have never loved at all."

Now, to resume the search for her. :-|

Saturday, March 05, 2005

I'm gay.

Life quite sucks sometimes. Really. Even for a mostly-carefree and optimistic bloke like me. Sigh. I wish... I just wish sometimes we could all go away to someplace far without having to think of any responsibilities. It just sucks sometimes that we humans are, more often than not, constrained to a lifetime of work in order to survive. Oh, utopia, where art thou? Redemption, anyone?

I could only imagine how life goes for the people who live in countries poorer than mine. (Or those who generally belong to a "socio-economic class" lower than mine. Really sad world.)

And this entire idea of expectations + career + $$ sucks. Gaah. I hate how American culture perverted the idea of capitalism, turning it into this monstruous, hideous greedy thing I wouldn't even dare touch with a ten-foot pole. (Why are humans virtually impossible to make content anyway?) And now, most Pinoys want to get more from life by getting a degree from one of the Philippines many diploma mi--err, "universities and colleges", without really thinking of what they really wanted to do in life. The end result is something of a conundrum--you have all these folks getting into prestigious fields without even liking it, or worse, without satisfactory competence in it. Ika nga nila, "para lang makapagtapos." Hey, where did common sense go? Can I buy one of those in my neighborhood sari-sari store? No? Oh, that sucks.

"Real world to Philippines... come in, Philippines. This is the real world... come in..."

Hit some nerves there? Oh, good. Read on my friend. Maybe you ought to start thinking of how things are going to be for you what, five, ten years from now.

I have so many things going on in my mind right now, I can't even think clearly for a second.

Benevolence quite sucks at times too. You have this tendency to think of the entire world first before yourself. Sometimes, I hate being good. At times, even being too good for my own good. I sometimes wonder if I were just born (or grew up) to be an arrogant, insensitive person who couldn't care less about the word empathy. Hey folks, look at me: I'm not superman. Or any superhero/demigod/celebrity (ugh. yuck.) for that matter. I'm just your typical guy.

Why am I acting cranky, you say? Hell, I dunno. Maybe burnout. I just want to rest and get away from all these annoyances around me. I want to get away!


And my imagehost is down. Grrr. This is the second time this happened. Maybe I should move my crap onto another server.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Hello world.

Or, for formality's sake...

class HelloWorldApp {
    public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println("Hello World!");
That's Java code for you. Heheh. (Following the great computer science tradition of doing a hello world thingy when learning something new. :)

Been a while, eh? I thought so too. I didn't have much time (or effort either) to post something new here. Sigh. Blogging gets real tiring at times.

Had my lecture speech delivered this morning, and I screwed the entire thing up. Bwahah. When I rehearsed it last night, it came in at around 5 and a half minutes, but today, I wasn't even close to 3/4 of my presentation when time struck. I really shouldn't have dwelt much on the introduction. Oh well.

And for the record, I hate speaking in front of an audience. (Real bad for somebody's looking into education as a future career!) I stutter like mad, groping for proper enunciation. And the strange thing is, if I did it with just myself (meaning self-talk) I can speak fluently and without much difficulty. Heh. I dunno either. Maybe its with the anxiety.

My lower back's been aching badly lately. Methinks its with the bad sleeping posture.