quaint little rutted bucket

Monday, August 29, 2005


good mornin
28 aug 2005. morning.

6:15am. 28 aug 2005.

Just woke up from a real nice sleep. (Finally. A decent night's worth of sleep after not sleeping the night before!) Still staying in the same room at the La Salle Villa (Room 3) as I did last time. As always, the view from my room's balcony is breathtaking. The air is fresh, the morning breeze silently billowing into my room through the open door and window panels, and everything so quiet that you could hear a cow's mooing in the distance (Yes, it's true!) Low clouds hang over the lake. Thank God for another beautiful new day. Tranquility abounds. And I still have half a Hershey's bar from last night. Goody. I want more of this stuff. :)

pen & paper blogging, baby!
Doin' it old school style: pen n' paper.

7:20am. 28 aug 2005.

Nothing much is happening. Aside from me, I think only E.J. is up. Am going to read Arceo's "Canel de la Reina" for the very first time.

11:08am. 28 aug 2005.

Just got back from Sunday morning mass at the nearby chapel. Doc Sison is, surprisingly, already here.

Most significant learning from the mass:

To love is to make sacrifices; to be ready to endure suffering.

Took a bite off the Hershey's bar. Sweet. Off to the shower for me.

good aft'noon
28 aug 2005. lunchtime.

1:10pm. 28 aug 2005.

Just finished a hearty, healthy lunch of fish, veggies, pork, rice, pineapples and a banana, on top of some iced tea and lots of water. Yummy.

We're going to be starting with another activity soon.

On her:
To be honest, I don't quite know what to make of my feelings for her. For one, I barely know her. At best, the level of acquaintance we have is, so to speak, just skimming the surface. And yet strangely, for some reason or another, I find myself thinking of her, what she may be doing at this very moment; to see and hear her.

With these in mind, this question, like oh-so-many times before, comes up: Am I infatuated?

Don't answer that.

Just chillin'.
Just chillin'. (Pun intended.)

lovely late afternoon
The late afternoon sun beneath some clouds. taken before 5pm.

9:47pm. 28 aug 2005.

Did a lot of activities under Doc Sison. First activity was about three parables, namely the Parable of the Four Soils, the Parable of the Tares, and the Parable of the Mustard Seed. The thought of seeing FORMDEV, and us, facilitators, as the seeds or perhaps the seed-bearers is very quaint and definitely motivational. I pray that I could live up to whatever words I spoke in the lecture hall.

After a ketchup spaghetti merienda (seriously.), we discussed the positive effects FORMDEV has brought to the lives of the facilitators, old, new and faculty alike. Each had differing views that were all inspiring. As for me, I just told them how I was very fortunate to have discovered the life and works of St. La Salle through FORMDEV. All was going fine until well into Doc Sison's turn; the rain finally decided to move in. Bummer. I was thinking that this reflection exercise would be very cool if done against a Tagaytay sunset.

We went inside and into the parlor to continue with the speech. Doc Sison's sharing was very meaningful and emotional.

After that sharing activity, it was the turn of the oldies to share practical tips on how to conduct group discussions. Very useful tips indeed. Got very nervous, but I did. :)

During my turn, I tried to stay on top of the situation. As an education student, methinks being initially assertive does a lot in conveying a sense of control and authority. (But I think I overdid it this time :D Anyway, all went well, save for the flushing red face I got from the three "gays" in my group. Heheh.

Dinner was served after that.

On her (a continuation)
I was expecting this retreat/training outing to distract me from thoughts of her. I was thinking of immersing myself, getting caught amidst the flurry of things we will be doing. But no.

Even with all the activities, this place gives much time for meditation and individual reflection, that all my trains of thought included her. I could only hope that when this is all over, I'll have a clearer picture of things. Sigh.

Lord, give me the courage and wisdom as I stare down and walk down the winding path of life. Lord, I don't want to hurt her. All I want is the best for her. Give me the wisdom to discern between my feelings and reality.

yellow bed!
My bed with yellow sheets. Looks real comfy, no? :)

6:30am. 29 aug 2005.

Just woke up from a blissful sleep. The view overlooking Taal is gorgeous, as the sun continues its mighty ascent into the sky. No low clouds seen yet--I think we're in for some beautiful weather today.

I'm going out to snap me some landscape shots.

Addendum: Oh. Brother Ceci has arrived. Surprising.

good mornin
29 aug 2005. morning.

1:56pm. 29 aug 2005.

Brother Ceci shared some his thoughts with us. Truly, we are indeed blessed to have persons like him. Its his very dedication to the charism of the Christian Brothers that I found conviction and confirmation in pursuing an education degree.

We also did a couple of somewhat cheesy but admittedly, motivating activities, like introducing a person to a class, to the exchange of cards. The cards exchange was interesting, to say the very least, since the prompt was to give the cards with your name on it to the person you felt corresponds best to the question. For example, the question 'who do you think is the most dependable of the entire group?' prompts one to give your name card to the person you think best fits that. And so on...

I said it was interesting since the most number of cards (7! half the entire group.) I got was from the third question

Anyway, have to make this quick. We're almost leaving. I still need to pack up and remove the sheets.

This'll be the last entry I'll be making here in Tagaytay.

Le ciel bleu!
Blue Tagaytay sky.

Saturday, August 27, 2005


This will be the second day I will not be sleeping at home. And I'll be away from home until Monday afternoon, when we'll be leaving for Manila.

Last night, I spent the night at a friend's flat just beside La Salle.

I am already missing my bed and my pillow. ;)

Just woke up and had my palabok by Tonang's lunch (yum!) after sleeping for four hours. For some weird and funny reasons last night, I wasn't able to get some sleep. I was initally working on my final finals paper for this term (Gragh! I already officially hate this. :) and when time for lights off came, things strangely started rolling.

I popped the first question. "Ano ba talaga yung hot seat?" that was immediately followed by "sino ba talaga yung malanding fafa?" I learned all about both, and frankly, given the nature of the situation, that was quite expected. But it was funny, nonetheless, that we were like girls sharing and giggling over our secrets for the first time. Definitely interesting and funny experiences were flying across the bed.

Upon learning that, I felt compelled to tell these guys already my growing interest in her.

I waited until they were both nearing sleep (around 4am) when I popped the question, in a low yet weak baritone manner, that nailed the door on my coffin: "guys, eh si *******, talo ba?"

Poof. I was on the hot seat there and then. Laughter. Giggling. OMG. I did not actually tell them, right? :)

"Oh no, I think I just did." :slaps forehead:

I started off by clarifying some distinctions I have, for example, on how I see her. I told them that it wasn't a crush (getting there, I guess. :) since I pretty know well when I have one or not. They argued that I was only using a euphemism for crush... Blame it on ENGLONE. :D

At that moment, the very definition of what a crush is to me was rolling in the back of my head. I see crushes as those nice little perfectly healthy and normal admiration things we have for other people, and if seen in this way, then I indeed have a crush. But I was denying it, preferring instead to call it by a different, (I say) more politically correct name like interested and such. Looking back, I think it was pretty lame. =))

And her.

Of all the people. Why do I find her interesting and fascinating that I actually wanted to spend some time getting to know her better? That I actually am willing to finally take risks, after oh, I don't know, three years?

I dunno. That's something to think about in the next couple of hours and days.

Bye all! Pasalubong on me. Heheh.

PS. Will be back with lotsa pics from Tagaytay! :)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Good mornin'!

Oh man, I love waking up. Really. Beautiful day. [cue Hoku's Perfect Day].

I'll be having an exam later for INTRECO. I haven't studied a bit yet, but I'm planning to do exam cram for the several couple of hours I still have. Exam would still be at 1pm, so I guess I've got much time left.

I'm heading off to Tagaytay for the weekend, along with all the Batch 5 FORMDEV facis! Weeeeeeee. Joy. But before that, I'll still need to submit my waiver to the CCS Vice Dean/Dean Secretary. Will be doing that later today.

Just got yesterday the specs for the GRAMCO2 finals. Deadline is on the 29th. But the bad thing is, I'll be going home on the 29th. So it's either I have to do and finish this tomorrow, to submit it on Saturday, or forever be damned. :) Great.

Also planning to hear mass at school. For some reason, I'm already developing a liking for attending masses at school. I feel like getting respite from the craziness and twistedness of the world whenever I get in there. Very peaceful and tranquil; something akin to a sanctuary.

Off to the shower for me.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Waah! I'm smitten.

By this:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
This is the Soundtrack. (And no, neither Kidman or the movie got me smitten.)

I watched this Nora Ephron (Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally) wonder just this afternoon at GB3, and by most counts, it was lovely. In typical Nora Ephron fashion, the lines were witty and charming, and I actually found most of them to be real funny. (Strangely though, it felt weird when you're the only one laughing at subtle jokes in a theater. I need a life.)

While the biggest gripe I had with the movie was its almost cliche-ish use of a production-within-a-production formula (been there, seen that) which is personally, something I find very shallow for story development, overall, the movie somewhat satisfies escapist tendencies.

The problem lies not with the lines, but with the story itself. There were so many rehashed elements that made some segments of the movie real tedious, and some elements are downright too cheesy, even for a supposed mushy feel good film like this.

Character development is commendable, especially for Samantha. Sweet, naive and pretty, Kidman's flexibility and skill as an actress is a joy to watch onscreen, considering the level and quality of performance she showed in playing strong-willed, Ku-speaking Silvia Broome in "The Interpreter". Also, the resemblance to the original Samantha, Elizabeth Montgomery is almost uncanny. But unfortunately, Kidman's role in reprising the original Samantha was wasted in the movie's lack of new ideas, and this did much to reduce the positive points brought by Kidman's performance to the movie.

Will Farrell is a mixed bag, though. After seeing him in a lot of comedy flicks, I just found it hard to imagine him in a film like this, with Kidman as his love interest. Even if he tried hard, I found it hard to get away from the thought that this was the same guy who played "Elf" a few months back. Really, casting should not have included him.

But then, even though the movie was mediocre, it was a fun affair to watch. While the intention to revive "Bewitched" was interesting, the movie did suffer from a lot of execution problems that make this one hard flick to watch. What happened, Nora? Also unwilling to use your magic?

If there's a saving grace, it would be the excellent soundtrack. The songs are apt for the movie, and the soundtrack was beautifully made to jive with the movie's theme of witchcraft.

Most of the songs are swing jazz pieces, so a jazz fan would easily find comfort and enjoyment from this one.

With songs coming from jazz standards artists such as Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, and Louis Armstrong, plus some nice cuts from Steve Lawrence, REM and The Police, who wouldn't love this? The classics are a safe, if not an elegant way to preserve the nostalgia brought by the movie.

But it is unfortunate that Sony Music Philippines hasn't released this one yet locally, considering how the OST for a locally unreleased movie (Dukes of Hazzard) can already be found in Music One's shelves. Calling, Sony BMG Philippines, nasaan na yung album ko? Heheh. (The first thing I did after emerging from the theater was to check if this has already been released. "'No", said the M1 people. Sad.)

Monday, August 22, 2005

INQ7 Sports Headline: 'Sputtering Tamaraws squirm past Archers'

One word: Tsamba. B-)

If anything, this should send the message that FEU is not indomitable--that somebody can play the kind and brand of game they play. Perhaps if those last couple of turnovers converted into points, we might have won and pwned the Tams for all they're worth.

But yeah, I must admit, Arwind's a big royal pain. I guess if FEU did not have him this season, things may have well turned out quite differently.

Oh well.


THECOMM paper deadline tomorrow, and so far, I've only completed a little more than half a page's worth of single-spaced text. Woohoo.

Let's see: I already have much of the data I need, plus some of the analysis, so its just largely a matter of turning all these into text.

Which is not that hard, but can take considerable time and effort.

Common sense tells me that the earlier I start, the earlier will I be able to finish this.

Good morning. :)

Saturday, August 20, 2005

So, What Do You Want to Do?

Haay. Lots of things to do. Let's see: I've still got four papers to finish this week, a single finals exam, and a few other things here and there to accomplish. And oh, teambuilding/FORMDEV training this weekend.

As for my museum commitment, Ms. Lalyn tells me that we'll be involved with the dismantling and the set up of a new exhibit. We will also be doing museum hopping (exciting! heheh.) and make the necessary preparations for next term's docent recruitment. (Sana maraming mag join next term! Heheh.)

Come to think of it, it really ain't that bad after all. :) (Of course, it shouldn't. I've been doing this term-end thing for the third time now.)

I should give INTRECO all I have. As it stands, my grade is only 2.0 pre finals. I'm aiming for the full monty, a 4.0. To do that, I'll need to study and prepare well.

As for THECOMM... I should really get my ass working on this paper. (I hate doing papers.) Currently, I only have the data and some interpretations of it, but nothing really concrete. And deadline's on Tuesday.

GRAMCO2 final paper requirements will only be available starting on Monday. Sigh.

RELSTRI is troubling. I still don't have a personal moral issue to tackle. To be honest, I think I'll be ending up with jerking off for this one. :D

As for the others... never mind. :)

Friday, August 19, 2005

I am Ralph.

"Vocation is the place where your deep joy meets the world's deep hunger." (Frederick Buechner)

So, I was young and foolish then... and still sometimes foolish now. Heheh.

Gee. How fast things change. Just a couple of years ago, I was that aimless, stressed out, rebellious nerdy type who wanted to find his niche. I wasted a year in CCS, while thinking about life, my priorities and the person I wanted to be. I was frustrated, confused and on the verge of losing it. That was until I decided to forego CCS, seek professional help (really, I did.), do away with all the expectations, and forge my own trail.

I haven't looked seriously back since then. (I did look back, but I figure I'll be better off as an educator and a future lawyer or even a college professor! This is *my* niche. :)

My decision to shift will perhaps be the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't regret a thing about it. (OK, I still do, especially after knowing what the IS majors are taking up. :) I know that teaching will be a stressful endeavor, but I also look forward to the day I'll get to experience the emotional highs of seeing young people realize their potential. That is something really nice to look forward to.

But, truth be told, I'm still having doubts. For one, I'm not sure if I'll make a good teacher. Even all the training in the world cannot possibly prepare me for the realities of teaching. The best I can hope for is that when that time comes that my skills and capabilities as an educator will be tested, what I have within myself will let me decide what is best in a sound and fair manner.

Another would be my graduate degree. As early as now, I am already looking into either law or an MA in teaching. But again, I have my doubts. You see, I am only considering becoming a lawyer because of the supposed prestige of having an 'Attorney' before my name, just to satisfy this crazy society's sick addiction to egotistical pursuits. (Ugh, in short, para lang matahimik yung mga nagsasabing 'teacher lang?' at para matigil na rin ang pagdududa ng aking mahal na ama ukol sa kursong kinukuha ko ngayon.) That's about it. (Well, not really in its entirety. For one, I like how Raul S. Roco quipped about the honor that can be gained in the practice of law.) I really don't know. Both career paths opens up tons of opportunities for me to genuinely serve others, but then, I am not sure where I'll fit in better. Sigh.

Maybe I should not really be thinking about this stuff this early on.

Monday, August 08, 2005

A great statesman

- "A Minority of Many" - Manolo Quezon's 'eulogy' in "The Long View", his column at PDI
- "A good man" - Conrado de Quiros recalls how a good man led his life

This person ran on a genuine party platform of sustainable development.

As early as September of 2003, he was already making the case for a temporary easing of our debt, even for only half a year's worth of payments.

Before cancer got to him, he was ranking among the top bets for the 2004 Presidency. He was often the target of political "demolition jobs" and smear campaigns.

Born Raul Roco, he was the second eldest of ten children. A Bicolano near-prodigy, he voraciously read and studied, even after completing formal tertiary schooling. A successful individual, he finished his law studies at San Beda College with honors, and went on to have a fruitful career as a practicing lawyer for local corporations, and soon thereafter, joined local politics.

MLQ3's eulogy describes him as a "wolf", akin to many of the previous political luminaries and statesmen that we have had: Juan Sumulong, Claro M. Recto, Raul Manglapus and even Jovito Salonga. These men had vision, conviction and the passion to swim against the tide of conventionalism and traditions. They ran for the highest public offices but lost. Whether it was due to their difference, or perhaps their alien nature to the system, they lost believing and standing firm in whatever they believed in.

Truth be told, seeing Raul Roco lie in state for the last time brought tears to my eyes. I believed in that guy. If not for his tenure as the Secretary of the all-too-important Department of Education, that department would not be where it is now under Butch Abad's leadership. Bearing the true mark of a servant-leader, it is only now that he is past his mortal existence that he is finally getting the accolades he deserved.

My final paper in ENGLONE made the case for a Roco presidency. I still believe in those. Here was a person who never titter-tattered (unlike GMA) and actually did what he said. If only people voted on the basis of platform and issues over popularity and name recall, then we may not have to experience the things this country is going through right now.

Raul Roco tried to present and make himself more palatable to a voting populace who is more keen to buy a candidate's celebrity endorsers rather than his actual merit. He did this in stride, beaming gleefully, in his distinctive, colorful hula-inspired floral shirts. But even this did not succeed. People viewed him with skepticism, and some even find him too egotistical for his own good. Nevertheless, that was the very limit of what he will do for the population's votes... if he will not win that way, then he will not be adapting to the conventions of Philippine politics.

And Roco's magic did work, for a few months while he was riding the crest of his campaign. If not for his prostate cancer, Roco would've likely won, despite having a fairly unknown Vice President and Senatorial bets.

But win he did not. Whether it was the failure of his campaign, or the lemming-like attitude of some Pinoys, Raul Roco will join the ranks of fine men, whom we shall always say, the great Presidents this country never had.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I’d Still Say Yes
U Turn

I love you most when we share a place
Those special good times together
It seems like our love can't get much better, oh
‘Coz we were as close as two could be
We knew love would last forever
We're more than just lovers, we're good friends

And even if our love
Could drift away
I wouldn't even think twice
If I wanted love back again

Because I'd still say yes to you again
My darling for you I'd do it all again
Yes I'd still say yes to you again
Darling for you I'd do it over and over again
To you ya know I'll say yes
Oh my darling, oh my darling only for you

Where does it go, how does it end
True love it seems so easy
'Coz we have no doubts
Where we belong, where we belong

They say time can heal a broken heart
And true love never ends
So why not start where we began

Because I'd still say yes to you again
My darling for you I'd do it all again
Yes I'd still say yes to you again
Darling for you I'd do it over and over again

They say time can heal a broken heart
And true love never ends
So why not start where we began, baby

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Bwahaha! I rule.

Todo: Online enrollment comes tomorrow at 12 noon. Still need to finish my lesson plan for gramco2. quiz on thursday, re: telecourse for english teachers. start work on survey form-questionnaire for thecomm research, re: how varying degrees of self-monitoring and self-awareness affect speech delivery in engltri classes. (w00t!) Check out unicef booth at sports plaza. Not attending formdev meeting tomorrow; have to catch a play at william shaw as alternative class, attendance will be checked. planning to hear mass at school. arrive early for relstri. wake up at 5am, not later than 530.